After Marriage
Read it from bottom to top!

If you are searching for the common denominator in your life, you are in luck. You are it.

Now that you know you are the ONLY consistent factor in any situation, you can begin to figure out how YOU are contributing to your recurring challenges and problems.

This is great news because, once you REALIZE you are at least part of the problem, you can begin to change your BEHAVIOUR, BELIEFS and ATTITUDES that are contributing to the situation.

Keep in mind that you have to concern YOURSELF only with you, not with anyone else.

You are the ONLY ONE WHOM YOU CAN CHANGE.

So DO NOT focus outside yourself.

Focus on the common denominator.

You will be amazed the difference this process will make in your life.

There was a blind girl who hated herself because she was blind. She hated everyone, except her loving boyfriend. He was always there for her. She told her boyfriend, ‘If I could only see the world, I will marry you.’

One day, someone donated a pair of eyes to her. When the bandages came off, she was able to see everything, including her boyfriend.

He asked her, ‘Now that you can see the world, will you marry me?’ The girl looked at her boyfriend and saw that he was blind. The sight of his closed eyelids shocked her. She hadn’t expected that. The thought of looking at them the rest of her life led her to refuse to marry him.

Her boyfriend left in tears and days later wrote a note to her saying: ‘Take good care of your eyes, my dear, for before they were yours, they were mine.’

This is how the human brain often works when our status changes. Only a very few remember what life was like before, n who was always by their side in the most painful situations.

Today, before you say an unkind word – Think of someone who can’t speak.

Before, you complain about the taste of your food – Think of someone who has nothing to eat.

Before, you complain about your husband or wife – Think of someone who’s crying out to GOD for a companion.

Today, before u complain about life – Think of someone who died too early on this earth.

Before, u complain about your children – Think of someone who desires children but they’re barren…

Before, u argue about your dirty house someone didn’t clean or sweep – Think of the people who are living in the streets.

Before, whining about the distance you drive Think of someone who walks the same distance with their feet.

When you are tired and complain about your job – Think of the unemployed, the disabled, and those who wish they had your job.

Before you point the finger or condemn another – Remember that none of us is without sin.

And when depressing thoughts seem to get u down – Put on a smile and think: you’re alive n still around.

God asks him: Tell me who are you, so that I may know whether or not to admit you to the Kingdom of Heaven?

The guy replies: I am Ajit Singh, an Auto driver from Chennai! God consults his Ledger, smiles n says to Ajit Singh: Take this Silk Robe n Gold Scarf n enter Kingdom of Heaven.

Now, the priest’s turn. He stands sturdily n speaks out in a loud n booming voice: I am the Pope’s Assistant Christoper de Paul, Head Priest of St.Paul Church for the last 40 years.

God consults his Ledger n says to the Priest: Take this Cotton Robe n enter Kingdom of Heaven.

‘Just a minute,’ says the agonized Priest. ‘How is it that a foul mouthed, rash driving Auto Driver is given a Silk Robe n Golden Scarf but me, a Priest, who’s spent his whole life preaching your name
n goodness, has to make do with a Cotton Robe?’

‘It’s the Results my fren, the results that count,’ shrugs God. ‘While you preached, people SLEPT; but when Ajit Singh drove his Auto, people really PRAYED’. It’s ultimately the results that counts.

Each one of us hails from different background, have different expectations, input of different levels of self-effort and thus different results.

The shortfalls are for us to improve (let it be in profession, career, family, wealth, status). We need to acknowledge and just proceed to next action (if we can improve or just leave it if it is beyond our efforts and if we have done our level best)

Live life full ….We are borne out of joy and happiness …… We are borne to be happy… it is only our own concepts and own views / inference on the events that make us unhappy….. ………..Nothing can take away the happiness from us..!!!

You need to learn to recognize when you’re feeling seriously tempted by another person.

Remember that you are now doing something that would hurt your partner if he knew about it.

Be careful with people who are married or attached.

Most people in long-term relationships can cope with some admiration, and may even benefit from knowing that others find them or their partners attractive. Some, however, are less tolerant of flirtatious behavior, and it is important to be alert to signs of discomfort or distress.
Men have a tendency to mistake friendly behavior for sexual flirting because they tend to see the world in more sexual terms than women.

Women are naturally more socially skilled than men, better at interpreting people’s behavior and responding appropriately.

You keep your mobile to hand day and night just in case your boyfriend answers it or tries to read your texts.

You click off your e-mail account when he enters the room.

If you can’t imagine calling a halt to what you’re doing, then you’re in serious trouble.

I asked them, ‘If I sold my house n my car, had a big jumble sale n gave all my money to this Church, would that get me into heaven? ”NO!’ the children answered.

‘If I cleaned the church every day, mowed the garden n kept everything tidy, would that get me into heaven?’

Again, the answer was ‘No!’ By now I was starting to smile. ‘Well, then, if I was kind to animals n gave sweeties to all the children n loved my husband, would that get me into heaven?’

Again, they all answered ‘No!’. I was just bursting with pride for them. I continued, ‘ Then how can I get into heaven? ‘A six year-old boy shouted out” YUV GOTTA BE DEAD..

SOUNDS ABOUT RIGHT !

Remember, you can never change the person or event causing the pain, you can either react in anger and blame yourself or others for what is taking place or you can react with love and trust toward yourself another person or circumstance generating the FEAR.

Looking out from the top floor window I also saw few men moving along side and behind my house. It was at such awkward time these 5 to 7 men were wanting to break-into my house. I frantically called the nearby police station, my family and friends for help.

Why would these people looking like thugs want at such an odd hour? Somehow, I felt they were my estranged wife’s people. Why pick such a time to disturb the serenity of my peaceful neighbourhood?

Shortly, uniformed policemen from the nearby station arrived. This prompted me to open my front door.

These men in as I found out then were plain-clothed detectives. They claimed to be from a another Police Station. Without hesitation they jumped over my front gate with a padlock cutter..

Not wanting them to break open my expensive padlock, I unlocked my gate. Strangely, enough these detectives seemed very motivated to arrest me.

They did not want to hear me or allow me any chance for explanation. Their words were “don’t waste our time”. they said I am being arrested for “Threatening to Kill My Wife”.

I am perplexed as to why they seem very keen to arrest me based on a report lodged by my estranged wife. It is “a serious allegation” (I did not do). How could the detectives be sent to arrest me without any preliminary checking. I was being treated unjustly here. Am I a fugitive amongst the manu criminals out there.

To cut the story short, these detectives handcuffed me and took me to a Police Station at 2.30am. Subsequently I got transferred to another Police Station.

These lockups were totally unpleasant. Here, criminals were poking fun at me for being for an idiot to get arrested over a false allegation.

Consider this, here is a loving father (had court order to see children) was denied access by estranged wife. Despite that she lodges several police reports and defies the court order.

Me being in such a dire predicament without access to my children went to Father-in-Law’s house hoping to get a glimpse of my daughters. Hell broke loose when my EX lodges a Police Report and got swift action on it.

Dragged in chain back and forth police stations and magistrate court. The Police sought a Remand Order – so I would be kept in Jail for 4 days – it was a Friday.

By the way, my Mention Date for Contempt (ie. estranged wife was not adhering Court order) was fixed for the same day, i.e the day I got arrested.

I was to be in Family Court that morning but instead was put in Jail as a criminal in the same court building instead.

With involvement from my parents and PEMALIK I got released with a word of “SORRY”. This had been my most gruesome 12 hour ordeal any person would dread.

I now know what such BAD APPLES can do and would abuse authority to justify alienating me from my children.

I have learnt that it will be justified for these BAD APPLES to lie and defy court orders. At the same time, it also possible to get arrested, when a BAD APPLE lodges a Police Report. Today, I am convinced our system seems to favour frauds without question. Will they ever be punished?

As a loving father, I have no choice but to argue in Family Court. While my children are being torn away by my aggresive estranged wife. My children are undergoing mental and emotional trauma of their life. They are too distraught to contact their me.

This is my 7th Anniversary as a Father.
Happy Father’s Day!

2. Amy Tan: Whenever I’m with my mother, I feel as though I have to spend the whole time avoiding land mines

3. Annie Sullivan: Children require guidance n sympathy far more than instruction

4. Ariel n Will Durant: The family is the nucleus of civilization

5. Aristotle: Mothers are fonder than fathers of their children because they are more certain they are their own

6. Chinese proverb: One generation plants the trees; another gets the shade

7. Colette: Life is nothing but a series of crosses for us mothers

8. Elaine Heffner: Women do not have to sacrifice personhood if they are mothers. They do not have to sacrifice motherhood in order to be persons. Liberation was meant to expand women’s opportunities, not to limit them. The self-esteem that has been found in new pursuits can also be found in mothering

9. Elizabeth Barrett Browning: Women know the way to rear up children (to be just) they know a simple, merry, tender knack of tying sashes, fitting baby-shoes n stringing pretty words that make no sense

10. Elizabeth Kenny: My mother used to say, “He who angers you, conquers you!” But my mother was a saint

11. Florida Scott-Maxwell: No matter how old a mother is, she watches her middle-aged children for signs of improvement

12. Golda Meir: At work, you think of the children you have left at home. At home, you think of the work you’ve left unfinished. Such a struggle is unleashed within yourself. Your heart is rent

13. Jacqueline Kennedy Onassis: If you bungle raising your children, I don’t think whatever else you do well matters very much

14. Jane Welsh Carlyle: Time is the only comforter for the loss of a mother

15. Jill Bensley: The most effective form of birth control I know is spending the day with my kids

16. Margaret Sanger: When motherhood becomes the fruit of a deep yearning, not the result of ignorance or accident, its children will become the foundation of a new race

17. Margaret Sanger: A free race cannot be born of slave mothers.

18. Marilyn French: To nourish children n raise them against odds is in any time, any place, more valuable than to fix bolts in cars or design nuclear weapons

19. Maureen Hawkins: Before you were conceived I wanted you before you were born I loved you. Before you were here an hour I would die for you. This is the miracle of life

20. Michael Levine: Having children makes you no more a parent than having a piano makes you a pianist

21. Nancy Friday: Blaming mother is just a negative way of clinging to her still

22. Pamela Glenconner:
Bitter are the tears of a child: Sweeten them
Deep are the thoughts of a child: Quiet them
Sharp is the grief of a child: Take it from him
Soft is the heart of a child: Do not harden it

23. Tenneva Jordan: A mother is a person who seeing there are only four pieces of pie for five people, promptly announces she never did care for pie

24. Theodore Hesburgh: The most important thing a father can do for his children is to love their mother.
By Walt Haskins from Lahaina, Hawaii

25. Walt Haskins: Our tolerance for those that are different is a stepping-stone to realizing that there is nothing to tolerate. Mankind’s differences should be welcomed as greatest strengths

26. Albert Einstein: Not everything that can be counted counts, and not everything that counts can be counted..

27. Confucius: If you always DO what you always DID then you will always GET what you always GOT

28. Mahatma Ghandi: The true function of a lawyer is to unite parties riven asunder

29. Woodrow Wilson: A dispute is a problem to be solved, together, rather than a combat to be won

30. A couple is reading the paper, the wife says: This article on overpopulation of the world says that somewhere in the world there is a woman having a baby every four seconds! Her husband not to appear uninterested said; I think they ought to find that woman and stop her!

31. Harold MacMillan – Most elderly people know what it is to be young n ignorant; but not one young person knows what it is to be old n wise

32. Make your VOW today, Pay Later – To many, the marriage vows are a series of trick questions needing to be figured out later, may be

33. Walt Haskins – When money talks, no translator is needed regardless of where you are.

34. Robert A. Heinlein – Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea.

35. Robert Frost – A diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman’s birthday but never remembers her age.

36. W. L. George – Men have been found to deny woman intellect; they have credited her with instinct, with intuition, with a capacity to correlate cause and effect much as a dog connects its collar with a walk.

37. Helen M. Winslow: Women, poets, and especially artists, like cats; delicate natures only can realize their sensitive nervous systems.

38. PJ O’Rourke: People like pets to possess the same qualities as they do. Cats are irresponsible and recognize no authority, yet are completely dependent on others for their material needs. Cats cannot be made to do anything useful. Cats are meant for the fun of it.

39. Harold Nicolson: We are all inclined to judge ourselves by our ideals; others, by their acts.

40. Henry Wadsworth Longfellow: We judge ourselves by what we feel capable of doing, while others judge us by what we have already done.